Defensive Thriving

Recognizing that all is not well, and life is not always a beautiful journey is the one truth that keeps me believing "Life is Beautiful." It is most often on the rare occasions when I feel I am at the top of my game, everyone loves me, and we live in a candy-coated sugar-shack of a world when I take off running toward the light, only to trip and tumble over some unseen reality. I fall so hard my heart implodes and my ego ends up with a nasty case of road rash. It's not that I expect the worst of the world, it's that I am preparing myself for the worst case scenario.

I find strength and comfort in Henry Rollins statement:

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment. However much of that gets heaped upon you doesn't matter - it's only a matter of how much you can take and what it does to you.

As one who is not naturally endowed with the Polly Anna prism view of life, I find this statement empowering.

I understand that perky and positive are wonderful and happiness is not overrated, however, in my world it is hard won with eyes wide open and my back to the wall.